Monday, May 23, 2011

Some Things I Just Don't Understand

Overall today was a good day.  I made it home in one piece after getting my heel stuck in the revolving door of my office building as I was leaving for the train.  And yes, my foot came out of the shoe and the door closed on it.  As 5 people stood by and watched me try and pull my shoe out, the man standing next to me (just standing, not helping even though I was blocking the exit) asked me how I managed to get my shoe stuck.  As I looked at him (while using all my strength to pull my shoe out) all I could think to say was, "who the hell knows".  He then asked if it were because of my weight.  WTF?  I am not a size 2 but I am also not grossly overweight.  Now I was pissed at the door and at this man.  My anger must have boosted my strength because I finally managed to free my shoe.  As I noticed that I had ruined the heel of this brand new shoe (today was the first day I had worn this pair) I smarted off to the man that I was extremely offended by his statement.  He then laughed and said he was kidding.

Now I am loving the fact that I live in London.  I still haven't done much more than work but I love that I am working in London.  However, there are some things I just do not understand.  In all fairness, I am sure that we Americans do many things the Brits don't understand.  Eating is one of them.  Most Brits probably feel that the Americans work way to hard eating.  We cut, lay down the utensil, pick up the utensil in the other hand, pick up the food and eat.  I actually applaud the way most Brits eat and hope to adopt that method.

Back to the shoe story.  I do not understand British humor.  Did that man really think he was being funny?  Does he not understand that the majority of women are always concerned about their weight?  What if I had just eaten the theatre sized box of Hot Tamales?  (Yes, I actually did, but for my dinner tonight.)  The point is, if I were feeling fat or struggling with my weight, this man could have pushed me over the edge.  You don't make a joke about someone's weight, just like you don't assume someone is pregnant.  I am, however, glad I could bring humor to his day.

Item number 2 that I do not understand:  Pantyhose.  Ok, in all fairness, they are called tights here.  In America, we call tights the thick stockings and pantyhose are what the 65 year old librarian at my elementary school wore with open toes shoes.  It's May 23rd, do they wear "tights" all year around?  It was only 60 something outside today, but still.  I will admit that I actually wore "tights" today too.  I went out bare-legged the other day and felt like I was walking through the tube station naked.  People were staring!  Granted some people look better in "tights" but does everyone have to wear them?  Maybe it is because everyone is so proper and wearing "tights" is the proper thing to do?  My friend, GG, can hopefully explain Ms. Emily Post's thought on this subject.  GG?

I do love that the Brits are so proper.  It makes me want to clean up my act and stop being so trashy.  I really love how proper they are.  I also admire them for their efforts to be green.  Public transportation, recycling, water conservation, etc.  But being that they are so proper, I do not get their toilets.  I understand the 2 button system in an effort to conserve water, etc. however, I do not get how you make the paper go down.  I flush and flush and yet the paper remains.  I feel bad for whomever is next to use the toilet because they have to see my paper.  It is kind of gross!

I still love London!!!!  And there is help for my milk.  According to The Metro today, a large milk farm had a BBC comic out to do a comedy routine for the herd of cattle.  According to a cow behaviorist, happy cows are more productive.  The cows appeared to enjoy the routine; only a few wandered away.  Oh, did I mention that the whole thing was set up by the makers of Laughing Cow cheese?  :)

1 comment:

  1. First, that guy was a total ass. Excuse me, arse. Really. All you can do is revel in the happiness that one day (sooner rather than later, I think) that man will be toothless due to the lack of fluoride in their drinking water and overall poor orthodontia. Really. Blow him off. What a giant douche.

    Second, like pantyhose?? Like, should I grab a twelve pack of Haynes in Suntan to bring you when I visit? Like what the secretary at your elementary school wore so she can slip her foot in her shoes, only to have them bread-loaf over the top anyway? THOSE pantyhose? Yikes.

    Third, about the TP situation. I got nothing there.

    Glad to hear you are having so much fun! Keep updating!